Brooklyn Bike Jumble TOMORROW RAIN OR FUCKING SHINE!!!

Also, check this wicked old shit out:

Also-also, check this out too!!:

Absolutely fucking amazing..

Brooklyn Bike Jumble TOMORROW RAIN OR FUCKING SHINE!!!

Wow do ever I fucking LOVE this video from Pure Fix Cycles and Plutonium!!

Plutonium x Pure Fix Cycles from Pure Fix Cycles on Vimeo.

Naturally my first reaction was:

But then I was like:

Why? I'm glad you asked! Let me explain:

The reason I love the video is because it just so happens that I have something along a similar tone, or wait, is what they're doing along a similar tone to me?? I mean really, spray painted everything, fire, black and orange- come on! Then again staten island is actually rates far lamer than Jersey by people who don't know fuck all about Jersey because if they did, let me tell you we'd be up there! Oh and let's not forget that:

I DON'T WORK WITH GARBAGE..

No but seriously, I'm putting together a new locker/beater bike rebuild of sorts with lots of fun new parts, a fresh new rack and yup, you guessed it, black and orange spray painted parts. But don't worry, believe it or not, I haven't really given much away. Aside from the fact that this shit is going to irevicably ANNIHILATE the living shit out of that PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT that for some ungodly reason warranted yet another barf in mouth worthy video..

Wow do ever I fucking LOVE this video from Pure Fix Cycles and Plutonium!!

Gnarly BMX vid from Nike..

Nike Batalla BCN a BMX video by Nike Action

Thanks Lyle!

Gnarly BMX vid from Nike..

Brooklyn Bike Jumble NEXT WEEKEND!!!

Holy crap this came up super fast this year:

SAVE YO MONEY!!!

Oh and you can sell stuff too..

I've been working this wicked, wicked, easy freelance job the last few weeks but I have hella stuff cookin'..

Today I find out if the seat I've been keeping warm for the drunkard who broke his hip falling down some stairs will need physical rehabilitation etc or not. I'm assuming yes but we'll see. Hoping for at least another few weeks!

Brooklyn Bike Jumble NEXT WEEKEND!!!

BMX Tall Bikes at Woodward!

I guarantee they would've shredded WAY harder on one of my mini talls. Still, looked pretty fun and scary..

Thanks Liam!

Also, here's a grid of Instagrams from the Stanley Kubrick exhibit at LACMA in LA:

It's running til June so be sure to check it out! So awesome!!

Speaking of awesome, check out this sick ass chopper seen in Silverlake:

Dude rode by us a little later and it was loud as fuck. Certainly not for the faint of heart!

BMX Tall Bikes at Woodward!

Catch up post and Heading to LA this week!!

Dag, a month past already with no posts from yours truly- FORESHAME!

Then again, shipping out that round of 52 ebay items right before my trip really fucking slayed me. Been trying to catch up with all things interwebz since I got back..

Speaking of the trip, as some of you may know a friend and I went to Mexico City to document this kick ass festival just north of the city. More details on that once I've gotten off my ass to finish editing the photos and start the arduous process of retouching them. I shot a video too which is pretty. fucking. gnarly.

Here's something I made special for the trip just to give you an idea:

Pretty funny huh? I needed some proper face/head protection so I opted for a skateboard helmet with a motorcycle helmet's flip up face shield. As kooky as it looks, and even kookier to wear in a large mosh pit style crowd full of underage mexican hipsters, it worked perfectly. Like, perfect-perfect. I took many a blow to the head and face and came out completely unscathed. Thought it's a shame I can't say the same for my welt covered body, hehe- OUCHIES!!!

Okay, at this point you're like WTF are you talking about already so here's a quick teaser shot:

Basically, it was like being in a really fun war zone..

TOTALLY WANT TO GO AGAIN NEXT YEAR!!!

But that's all I can divulge for the moment since I'd like to make a bit more headway with the entire project before revealing much more. It most certainly is deserving of a massive post of it's own..

Next week I'll be heading to the City of Angels with the lady to have a little vaca time together and check out the city. I went once about 12-13 something years ago but it's been far too long. Here's an oldie goldie selfie from the flower fields which I'm hoping to re-visit during the trip..

Any advice on where to go, see and do be sure to holler at me. Esp if you have one of those dispensary access cards! Seeing as how I've never orally ingested marijuana I'd fancy partaking in that sort of thing. Not to mention smuggling/mailing some of that shit back home! Granted I have no idea if that's even possible but I'd like to think that it is. I'm praying akshually. All I know is that someone needs to lend me a bike or two or tandem and get me stoney baloney :-D

Anyways, check out what I stumbled upon in the H&M display window at the Garden State Plaza:

lol right? So weird. I mean, I get their motivations behind it but it was totally bizarre seeing that at a mall in Jersey. I guess this means that THE TARCK BIKE IS NOT DEAD after all! More on that here..

Oh and did anyone else notice this sexy gold naggie..?

Speaking of gold, anybody one want to go thirds with me on this set??

Hoping the next owner of this mofo has enough sense to get some super sweet airbrushing on the rear wheel:

For more dopiness be sure to scope out this, this, this, this (the Medici), and ZOMG THIS!!!

lol..

I could keep going but I think that's going to be all for now..

More soon and don't forget to hit me up LA people!!

Again, for more recent and random updates you should friend me on instagram (alansikiric):

Fuckin' bitches..

Catch up post and Heading to LA this week!!

I just listed a TON of shit on ebay!!

Not just bike parts either. A lot of photography books along with some camera gear and other random tid bits. Check em out by viewing my sellers list and be sure to forward them to your buddies when you get a chance..

Here's a few items just to give you an idea:

Sweet vintage freewheel threaded hub HED Carbon Fiber wheels with Gatorskin tubies:

My super sick collection of ALAN gear:

With CRAZY AWESOME PANTOED PARTS!!!

Sweet Leica promo ashtrays: 

Rare and awesome Yamaguchi long sleeve Jersey:

 NOS Bikeit stopwatch holder for your vintage english racer:

A Campy PISTA tandem left hand drive crank arm:

Gary Winogrand 1964 Photography book:

Larry Clark: The Perfect Childhood Photography book:

A signed copy of Todd Hido's Roaming Photography book:

A copy of Gilles Peress's Farewell to Bosnia Photography book and signed 20x24" print:

As always, saving the very best for last, a copy of Fixed Magazine issue 001:

LOL

But yea, there's plenty of good shit so check it all out!

Then, check out this kids fucking awesome whip he built himself. Fucking hilariously awesome!

SO GOOD!!!

I just listed a TON of shit on ebay!!

OMG. WTF. LOL. NSFW.

This broad really is sumthin' else!

OMG. WTF. LOL. NSFW.

Mini Bike Winter X and Dead Baby Bikes Trailers!

Goddamn I need to check this shit out one of these days!

Looking forward to seeing the chariot war footage too!!

Mini Bike Winter X and Dead Baby Bikes Trailers!

Some progress this past weekend..

Decided to start putting together a roadie for myself with the Richard Sachs New-vex lugs and Pegorichie tubing I got a while back. Sorry for the crap instagram snaps!

I stalled out once I realized I was missing a few odds and ends, as can be seen in the last photo of all the braze ons. Got a bunch of stuff coming in some time this week/end so hopefully I can get back on it..

Also, fuck those goddamn lugs and how much time I had to spend sanding them down to actually slip over the tubing >:-[

Anyways, my freelance gig is coming to an end this week so hopefully I can get back to posting more regularly..

Some progress this past weekend..

Yet Another Design FAIL from CLUELESS Designers: The Clarity Bike!

Let's see, how could greatly we up our chances with getting hit by a car..?

I know, let's make a bike that's even LESS visible than ever before!!

BEHOLD, A SEE THROUGH BIKE:

SMART

1) If you're stupid enough to ride a clear bike, you totally deserve getting hit by pretty much anything moving in the street..

2) Only someone stupid enough to ride a clear bike would be caught dead, literally, riding a bike with as ugly a front slack ass head tube..

I mean, if the material is so fucking space age great, what was stopping them from adding SOME rake of some sort to the fork. Oh hey I know, it actually sucks!

"gentle flexibility that usually would only be expected on an old Italian steel frame."

Uhhh, yeah.. Steel is real guys, plastic.. not so fantastic..

Yet Another Design FAIL from CLUELESS Designers: The Clarity Bike!

UUUUUUUGGGGGGG SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!!!!

GOOD FUCKING CHRIST IF THIS ISN'T THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING I HAVE EVER SEEN:

God damn that shit just looks SO. FUCKING. BAD.

YOU CAN'T EVEN ROLL AWAY, YOU JUST BOUNCE LIKE A TERD!!!

AND WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE ASSHOLES DOING AT ARMY PARK??!!!

Quick, someone do a bar spin or some shit- ANYTHING!

Seeing one of those wankers in public is probably one of the rare instances where I would turn into a total asshole. The last time I acted like that was when some dipshit kid busted out with a 'grind' in a pair of soap shoes on a really high ledge I was skating. Fucking lazy ass twats. TRY ENGAGING IN AN ACTIVITY THAT ACTUALLY REQUIRES EFFORT TO LEARN!!

UUUUUUUGGGGGGG SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!!!!

Chari & Co Tenga 2 Promo Vid!

I mean, why stop at buying yourself bike porn while you're there?

CHARI & CO NYC x TENGA 2 from chariandconyc on Vimeo.

That's my buddy John (K-Tel) and his lady Hana that star in the short. So fucking hilarious!

I was sitting in my office with the door closed enjoying plantains, looking at pictures of cats and guns when I spotted the vid. Just had to share!

p.s. - as reddic as this fucking thing is, it looks like HELLA fun!

Chari & Co Tenga 2 Promo Vid!

Fucking Hell is this Jack Taylor Tandem ever AWESOME!

Anybody in Madison, WI wanna get this one for me? Only $1200!!

It's been a while since I've seen anything I really wanted bike wise. Granted I haven't been looking around with the same feverishly wet palmed ferver as I used to. Mostly out of tool buying necessity, but also because I have a tendency of buying way too much weird shit. But damn, a lovely Jack Taylor tandem would be awesome to own!

I'm taking solace in the fact that I will eventually get my hands on the Anvil jig tandem extension arm and construct my own :-)

Fucking Hell is this Jack Taylor Tandem ever AWESOME!

The NEW Rizoma Metropolitan- aka: FAPOS and More!

Just spotted this Fugly Ass Piece Of Shit and had to share:

UG right?!

But wait, look- you can ride it on the beach barefoot!:

The flared out sport jacket look is all the rage in shitheadsville:

Oh sweat, don't forget the obligatorily dynamic angle shot!:

Yeah, there's a reason that shit is pitched downwards..

This is the porn shot for fuckwads who get off on tossing their own salads by buying wicked fancy bikes to ride back and forth to their local cafe:

 Oh yyyyeeaaa, just sittin' here, pretending to read mah paper, don't really care about what's goin' on in the world cause I'm too busy checkin' out mah sweet fixie, enjoying a skim latte, eating a crossiant, checkin' out people stopping to check out mah sweet fixie, yeah whip out your iphone, post that photo to your instagram with a sweet filter, it's not locked so you could steal it, if it wasn't for the obvious fact that my well dressed yet casual minded self wasn't starin' straight at it, and you, cause I know you want it, cause who wouldn't want such a sweet fuckin' fixie..

Then, well.. they kinda get me here with a cutie riding one with my colors:

Though I like this shot better cause it looks like she's bummed out that no one wants be seen riding with her and her retarded bike:

The best part is that you too could own one of these magnificent pieces of dog shit for a measly €3,700!!

Which equates to $4,834..........

Hmm, let's see what else $4,834 would get you in the real my world..

A Park Master Tool Kit:

..or Anvil's Mitering Combo meal and a lathe:

Then on the higher side, a Canon 5D Mark III body and 24-70mm 2.8 II Lens: 

..or on less practical yet more fun note, a used but good condition Triumph Speedmaster:

In any case, what it comes down to is that EVEN MOTORCYCLE PARTS DESIGNERS CAN'T MAKE A BICYCLE WORTH A SHIT so just fucking stop it already!! Designers, if you're gonna go there, at least try to not charge anywhere near what any pro builder could do for someone, only way better, for the same price if not less..

The only seat tube-less design I've ever seen is Koichi Yamaguchi's asymmetric design. I've been staring at mine for years now trying to come up with something that could at least stand up to his design without A: Falling flat on it's face like the Rizoma and B: Doesn't bite on his design at all..

..and I think I've finally got it!

Not sure if it'll work but it's definitely in the que of future experimental frames to be built. I'm back in the city slavin' for the man so with any luck, I won't be broke as fuck for much longer. Once I'm all caught up with my expenses I can get back into sweet new tool buying mode :-D

Speaking of which, for those of you who don't have instagram or are just dickheads for not following me (alansikiric), here's the progress snaps and caps from my new milling machine rolling base project. The order might seems a little funky since it took place a few different days last month: 

The one bad thing about my shop is I don't have garage door access. Which means sliding everything through standard doors. Not fun..

Here's the super annoying thing: They mounted a 750lb mill on a super thin plywood base. The only way I've been able to get around/under it is by snapping it off. Should be interesting later on once I have to slide it out from underneath when I mount the mill on the new base

Cutting some 2" box steel for the top section of the base..

The cuts are done! Legs, bottom base, top section. The reason why the piece at the top is in 3 pieces is because I ran out of steel and it'll have to be stitched together. Which is also why I'm using a mix of 2" and 2.5" box box tubing. Don't wanna buy another 24' length of the stuff..

Finally ready to busy out wit da MIG welder!

Like OMG! Isn't my little welding cart i made the cutest??!
ヾ(＠⌒ー⌒＠)ノ

Top, bottom and the leg that needed stitching, all tacked up. On to the rest of the legs now!

Tryin' to keep things as square as possible..

And there we have it! All tacked up and looking awesome so far. Next time I'm in the shop I'll finish up all the welding, toss the wheels on there and make a couple of shelves. Gonna have to raise the milling machine up first since the wheels in question are currently under it..

Back to work in the shop today on getting my new milling machine off the cart and onto the new base I built recently. So far I bashed my finger once and stepped on a nail..

Cart exhumed- stoked! Just gotta raise it another foot an half now and roll over to Harbor Freight for some big fat caster wheels..

 

Just about done welding everything up! 

Casters almost done!

  

DONE! Now it's just a matter of how to get the milling machine onto it. Def gonna need some more cinder blocks etc to raise it up. Next time!

I didn't take a photo but basically I spent a few hours another day slowly raising the mill up till it was high enough for the new cart to fit underneath. Here's a snap of the finished cart with the mill on top. Never posted it cause the project was technically over already and I couldn't really fit the image into an instagram square frame without cropping it too much:

Only thing left to do is finish up the two shelves, bolt the thing down and add all the adjustment handles etc..

Next up will be getting all the various hole saws and bits I need along with a clue as to how the fuck to use it :-/

More soon!

The NEW Rizoma Metropolitan- aka: FAPOS and More!